10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I’m a transformational spirituality teacher and coach, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

Prior to marrying my current husband, I had the opportunity of living on my own for several years. Obviously during this time, I had grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I had my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

At that time my boyfriend (now husband) and I had a long distance relationship, and had finally decided to move in together. I started to have misgivings about him moving in with me and began to have negative thoughts about it. I knew that my current living routine will have to change and that we will have to create a new routine together and I felt myself feeling resistant to change.

What I realized is that I had already jumped into the future inside my imagination had thoughts that we would not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. I laugh at it now, but in my mind, I had already seen myself already getting angry about the cooking and cleaning situation and the various arguments that would ensue as a result.

Fortunately I was conscious enough to sit down with my journal and honestly process the entire situation. It was then that I realized I was projecting anger towards a future situation that most likely would not even occur!

The point is that when you start to have negative thoughts, they bring friends and sometimes it’s hard to stop them. And of course shifting your negative thoughts to positive ones in order to shift your focus is much easier said than done.

But if you want to stop your negative thoughts cold, it is necessary to learn how to cut them off before they begin to take root inside your mind. How do you do this?

Here are ten helpful things you can use to quickly shift your negative thoughts into positive ones:

1. Meditate or do yoga.
2. Smile.
3. Surround yourself with positive people.
4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.
5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.
6. Help someone.
7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.
8. Sing.
9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.
10. Read positive quotes.

The mind is neutral energy. The way you think determines whether the results are positive and beneficial, or negative and harmful. It is the same energy acting in different ways.

The good news is that persistent inner work can change habits of thinking. However, you must be willing to put energy and time to pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude. The overall results of living a life full of mental and emotional freedom however is well worth the effort, and I am sure you would agree! So happy positive thinking!


© 2015 by Dar Payment for Heal Your Life Workshops Worldwide,www.HealYourLifeWorkshops.com. Dar Payment is a Licensed Heal Your Life Workshop Leader, a published author, and an Intuitive Life Coach at www.Whispers-From-Heaven.com. You may reprint or share this article in any form provided that you do not alter it, and that you keep the bio line in tact.

Perfectly Imperfect

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting, but as hard as we try, we can’t turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like “Never good enough” and “What will people think?”

Why, when we know that there’s no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone? Is it that we really admire perfection? No; the truth is that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.

We get sucked into perfection for one very simple reason: We believe perfection will protect us. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.

Here’s what is truly at the heart of whole-heartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Letting go of our prerequisites for worthiness means making the long walk from “What will people think?” to “I am enough.” But, like all great journeys, this walk starts with one step, and the first step in the Wholehearted journey is practicing courage.

Here is what best-selling author Steve Miraboli says about being perfectly imperfect:

Excerpt From Steve’s Book: Life, the Truth, and Being Free.

We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path.

Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind… there are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey.

I find parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered… we take different physical forms.

But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect.

At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are.

Think of what understanding this great orchestration could mean for relationships. Imagine interacting with others knowing that they too each share this parallel with the snowflake. Like you, they are headed to the same place and no matter what they may appear like to you, they have taken the perfect form for their journey. How strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly imperfect for our journey.

Get your success on! Free yourself today from thinking you need to be 110% perfect in all you do. Personally, I feel that a ‘perfect person’ would seem rather imperfect. As Goethe once proclaimed: “Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.”

Be courageous enough to let yourself off the hook, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect!


© 2015 by Dar Payment for Heal Your Life Workshops Worldwide,www.HealYourLifeWorkshops.com. Dar Payment is a Licensed Heal Your Life Workshop Leader, a published author, and an Intuitive Life Coach at www.Whispers-From-Heaven.com. You may reprint or share this article in any form provided that you do not alter it, and that you keep the bio line in tact.

Take Charge of Your Destiny

Let me ask you some pretty intense questions. Do you think that your life predetermined? Has everything that’s happened to you so far in this life happened as it should? Does your conscious choices mean anything? Or does it matter because the outcome is already written in the stars? Is it really?

Are there truly infinite possibilities or does everything you do, every choice we make, lead to one inevitable outcome? Has the future already been written and you’re simply walking the yellow brick road? Or is “Destiny” something else entirely?

Do you have the ability to burn brighter than any of your predecessors?

I believe that you do. But then what is it that so often stops you from doing just that? One thing. The fear of failure. Often the fear of failure paralyzes you from taking the action necessary to take you from where you are to where you want to be.

Often accompanied with the fear of failure is the fear that you are incapable of greatness, and the fear of judgment and criticism when you make a decision to take charge of your destiny and shine – no matter who or what may object.

Don’t allow yourself to fear. And don’t begrudge people for trying to keep you stuck in your fears either. Those people who look down their noses at you simply have not found a way to overcome their own fears, and quite frankly your desire to step outside of your comfort zone makes them see their own fearful reflection.

On the surface, they may seem unaccepting and judgmental. That’s because they themselves are afraid. But when they go home and lay in bed, with a million and one thoughts swimming through their mind; thoughts of fear, of doubt, and insecurity.

Forge confidently ahead anyway. Listen to the battle cry of desire from your own heart that says “your destiny awaits you, be strong, be courageous, and just be you.”

Those people, even though they unconsciously will not admit it, are inspired by what you represent. A way forward. Because of this they will always remember you. They will remember the passion that burned in your eyes. They will remember the light that seemed to radiate from your very soul. And ultimately they will remember that “their” destiny has been awaiting them, calling their names patiently over the years to rise to their own greatness.

Take charge of your own destiny. You have the ability to write it with your own hand to be, do, and have what your heart desires most.

“Every individual has a place to fill in the world and it important in some respect whether he chooses to be or not.” ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne


© 2015 by Dar Payment for Heal Your Life Workshops Worldwide,www.HealYourLifeWorkshops.com. Dar Payment is a Licensed Heal Your Life Workshop Leader, a published author, and an Intuitive Life Coach at www.Whispers-From-Heaven.com. You may reprint or share this article in any form provided that you do not alter it, and that you keep the bio line in tact.